I’ve been in a weird mood recently. I couldn’t put words to it, I couldn’t explain it well to others, but something just felt off around me. I felt like my surroundings, my daily life was unsettled, unbalanced. It felt like the world around me was in chaos and yet nothing was really going on. Life was continuing at the normal daily pace. My interactions with the people in my life also were normal. Nothing was really different and yet I felt so… off-kilter. I couldn’t understand it.
I wondered if I was possibly experiencing spiritual attack, which I have experienced a few times now since I’ve come to Chile. With nothing in my physical world acting as a stimulus to explain my feelings, I wondered if possibly I was being attacked. My only recourse was to go to prayer. I began searching out more opportunities to be alone and spend time in the Word, to speak with God and to be in His presence. In case it was spiritual attack, I wanted to bathe the situation in prayer.
What I found, and what was so impactful, is that in the world swirling around me, I found balance when I was with Him. Every time I began praying or read the Bible, my world settled around me, picking up again when I stopped. It was incredibly strong the distinction between my time with Him and my time with the world. I know I’m being redundant, but the difference was remarkable.
I had the realization that perhaps what was happening was actually an answer to prayer. I’ve been praying that God would give me more of a desire to spend time in His Word, a hunger to be in His presence. It’s a prayer request, a desire that I’ve wanted to see grow for awhile. What I realized when I noted the difference between the world around me and my time with the Lord, is that I believe that this is how God has drawn me more closely to Him. With my world swirling around me with no understandable cause, my desire to be in His presence grew hugely, because there I found peace, calm, balance. My preference was to turn to Him. This deepening of my hunger came about so strongly and quickly that I believe this has been God answering my prayer.
Praise God for His faithfulness. Praise God that the best gift He can give me, the best answer to any prayer I pray, is to turn me ever more close to Him. Walking with eyes trained on Him gives this world balance. Praise God for deepening my desire to praise God!
